I’d like to take a minute to discuss a subject that’s been on my mind a lot lately–how writers interact online.

Here’s the thing: the Internet has changed the way we live our lives. In many cases that’s good. It’s certainly forever altered the way we conduct our business. We’re able to make instant connections that formerly would have taken weeks or months. We can query editors and agents in moments; share frustrations with other writers without leaving the comforts of our own homes; network at 2 in the afternoon, or 3 in the morning; and promote our work to thousands of strangers with nothing more than a post to a website. It has never been easier to share this writing life, and to find others who understand what it means to sit alone in a room for hours on end, staring at a glowing screen filled with words.

Those are the benefits. But there’s something else the Internet does, and this isn’t quite as appealing. It can break down inhibitions. Because there are no face-to-face interactions, it is far easier for someone to post their own opinions in a hostile way, even if those opinions are guaranteed to anger or offend others. It’s also easier to misunderstand a strongly-worded post without the benefit of tone and facial expression.

Now, I’m all for the voicing of opinions, even unpopular ones; in fact, I think it’s an essential part of any healthy democracy. I’ve got some pretty passionate opinions myself, and I’ve been known to express them. But a line is crossed when these opinions become personal attacks, or “flame wars.” There’s a big difference between posting something controversial versus something hateful. There’s also a big difference between disagreeing with someone, and belittling them.

The most ironic thing about all of this is that while message boards and blogs may make a poster feel somewhat anonymous, they are actually far more public than any other form of expression. Think about it; where else can something you say or write have the potential to be instantly read by countless numbers of people, including other writers, readers, editors, agents and publishers? It doesn’t take more than a moment to fire off an angry or offensive post, but the consequences to a career can be devastating. It happens every day; a writer gets a form rejection from an editor, and goes online to complain to their friends. Complaints lead to a couple of nasty attacks. The writer may think he is blowing off some steam with a few friends, but chances are, that editor will get wind of it, and any chance of a future sale is gone. Not only that, but other editors are likely to read it and form an opinion of the writer before they even see a submission.

But what really blows me away is when a writer says something to the effect of “I just can’t understand how that person could think that way.” Are you kidding me? Isn’t that what a good writer does? Writing is about walking in another person’s shoes, seeing the world from a different perspective. It is, ultimately, about understanding. Because you can’t write a convincing character without understanding why they feel the way they do, why they act a certain way. Horror writers should be the most understanding people on earth. If we can get inside a serial killer’s head and write at length about why they love torturing children and setting fire to schools, then we damn well ought to be able to figure out why person X may think abortion is murder. Understanding someone else’s viewpoint doesn’t mean we agree with them; it simply means we’re able to put ourselves in their heads, and see how they might have come to that conclusion.

So whenever I’m about to fire off that angry or confrontational post, I take a minute to reflect. If I were face to face with a group of people in a room, would I say it out loud? If someone I’ve never met before were to read it, would they form a favorable opinion of me? Chances are, the answer to both of these questions is no.

Message boards and blogs for writers should be about community, making connections, sharing experiences, supporting each other. They should certainly encourage debate, but in a healthy way. We get enough hostility from the rest of the world, after all. Let’s keep it civil when we can, and use the Internet responsibly. It’s just the smart thing to do.

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